My brother basically disowned me last night

For pointing out to his long distance girlfriend (that he’s screwed over in the past)  that he has been bringing home this girl for weeks now and introducing her as his girlfriend…

This is his reply to me:

2 notes
Q: How do I make sure my gf doesn't catch me cheating on her?


ok follow these simple steps:

1. pick up the trash
2. step outta ur house
3. open the trash can
4. step into the trash can

good now u r where u belong congrats!!!

asked by Anonymous

26,644 notes
boom clap the sound of my ass

(Source: susemoji, via beyoncevevo)

102,321 notes


gordon ramsay’s confused face is the cutest thing on earth


look at him


hes like a little baby boy

(Source: iwarnedyouskank, via hotguysandpizza)

163,178 notes


there is no reason for “sean” to be pronounced “shawn”

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

181,096 notes


i understand that you cant stop miley but you need to

(via worsting)

129,903 notes